Good Bye Grandpa
My grandpa died a couple Fridays ago and I was sad, but I have to admit it was a relief. A lot happened at the funeral, but I wonder if it's worth putting on KD. One thing that breaks my heart is the fact the Austin was extremely upset and bawled his little blue eyes out. He's such a sweet, caring little kid and I am very proud of him. My dad got the most upset when that woman made a huge scene when the casket was leaving the church. My father left the church out the back door so he could just get away and Scott, Steph and I glared at her performance. My mom, of course, followed my dad. I hate her and I knew we all would leave that funeral with bitter memories. I was not impressed with the pastor who did my grandfather's funeral just for the fact that he completely ignored us. He didn't even say hello to us let alone a sympathetic gesture. In the end it was best we went. The whore's son came to talk to us and told us, "I just want you to know that we are not all crooks." He was very supportive of my dad while we were there. They were childhood friends and I am thankful that someone there knew we were not evil and trying to take the bitch's "money." My grandfather left us with bills and they are not small ones either. It isn't fair to them and it only makes sense that we pay off his bills with his money. My parents cannot afford to have such huge bills, frankly no one would be able to. The funeral is over, but we have to go back there to get my grandmother's things. It kind of feels like we won in a way that we at least got to take my grandparents things out of her cluttered house. I just hate going back. That area of the state will never have good memories for me and I never want to go back again. It makes me sick thinking about going back and I know the rest of my family feels the same way.
Work has been too busy and we are down another compositor. She handed in her two weeks notice on Monday. Things are going good for me, however, and I have no plans on leaving anytime soon. I love doing ads, but it can get a little stressful because we need our hours back and they need to hire someone to help us. If we had our 2.5 hours a week back it would make things a lot better, but of course they are trying to save that ever popular dollar. I hate money and it's necessity. *spits on money* I hate how greed makes people stupid and. . . I won't get into my greed rant.
World of Warcraft is going well. It is taking me forever to get my characters up in level because I constantly get yelled at to get off. *sigh* I am having a splendid time running around though and it is getting to the point that I need to fly gryffons to get around because running just takes to dang long.
Finally I got my raise at work and Nancy did it right. Woot! *waves little flag* Hmm, not much else to type. I work my night shifts today and tomorrow. I don't mind them like others do because I am a total night owl and I get 60 cents more an hour for those shifts, so happy. Off I go to eat lunch and play a little WoW.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
Once Again!
Once Again!
It is Kushrenada's Delusion's birthday again! Seriously, where does the time go? It seems just yesterday I started this blog. *sniff* *hugs* Happy b-day little guy! You are officially Thwee yeaws owd. *bakes cake* *eats* Yum!
I should really get a new design. *nods* Unfortunately I don't like the one's they have on blogger and I have no clue how to do it myself. Blog layouts 101 here I come! Whee!
I have a feeling WoW will consume this creative idea of mine. *laughs* *WoW devours*
*blink blink* What was I talking about. . .
It is Kushrenada's Delusion's birthday again! Seriously, where does the time go? It seems just yesterday I started this blog. *sniff* *hugs* Happy b-day little guy! You are officially Thwee yeaws owd. *bakes cake* *eats* Yum!
I should really get a new design. *nods* Unfortunately I don't like the one's they have on blogger and I have no clue how to do it myself. Blog layouts 101 here I come! Whee!
I have a feeling WoW will consume this creative idea of mine. *laughs* *WoW devours*
*blink blink* What was I talking about. . .
I Am Here, Kinda
I Am Here, Kinda
I'm pretty sure I am a) allergic to something at work, or b) I have a sinus infection of doom. I have had a cold all fall and this winter. I'm miserable and I feel bad for everyone at work who has to here the delightful noises of snot being removed from my nose and on to a kleenex. My nose is kind of dripping right now, but I don't care, I'm sick of tissue. Ok. . . it's dripping more, maybe I should get a kleenex. *runs off* *releases snot from nasal cavity* I know you didn't want that image, but I am a mean person. *nods*
I know I have not typed on here in ages and I have to apologize for that. Sorry. And then when I do come back I sound miserable and cranky. I apologize for that too. *sighs* I'll tell you all more bad news and then I'll tell you happy news because I try to leave off on a positive note.
My grandpa is dying. I hate to put it so bluntly, but it is the only way I can put it. He is fighting 3 infections and has pnemonia, which the doctor told us that it is "the old man's friend." It was given this name because they just slip away in their sleep. I'm glad for that, but it is difficult seeing my grandpa so weak. I wish I could get some type of medical gadget that sucks out all the goo from his lungs. Most people would be sad an cry when something like this happens, but I find that I cannot. Although I feel horrible that he is dying I can't help, but feel relieved. The relief of knowing he won't hurt my dad anymore. Relief in knowing he isn't suffering anymore. Relief in the fact that I won't have to deal with her anymore. Life can maybe become normal again and Dad will be able to rest peacefully again. I will be happy when I don't have to hear about the horrible things she's done over and over again.
I'm sorry Grandpa, but I cannot feel for you as I did Grandma. You have proven yourself to be greedy and easily manipulated and for that I cannot cry for you. I have forgiven you, but I will never forget how you treated your son just so you could have all your "needs" taken care of. These are things I wish I could tell you, but you will never hear, or read them and that is best.
I hate pouring my heart out like that, but that is just how I feel. I feel detatched from him and it hurts because I used to look up to him when I was a kid. He was the main reason I thought photography was so neat. I could go on, but I won't because frankly it isn't necessary. Life throws shit at you sometimes and all you can do is clean it up and move on and that is what I plan on doing. Once this whole ordeal is done I'm putting on the rubber gloves and grabbing the mop because I cannot dwell on it. *nods*
Ok, on to happy things!!! I have a new shiny cable modem. I got it. . . *thinks* mid-January and it has been a wonderful thing. Kate and Mike bought me World of Warcraft for Christmas and this is basically the reason I got the high speed net. I know what you are about to say, "Kush, it's February and you got the modem about 2 weeks ago, so why didn't you POST!" Well, that is answered with a simple three worlds, World of Warcraft. Darn game consumes your life and you forever live in Azeroth. *nods*
My characters thus far: Tulouse (only way I could get it to work on WoW) is a paladin and is very similar to my D&D character. He is generous and calm, but get him on the topic of theatre and the man changes. He becomes dramatic and starts blurting out Shakespeare quotes. His favoritie play is Hamlet. Gee, I wonder why that is? *giggles*
Vinni is my priest and he is a gruff fellow, but definitely means well. He has a huge heart and loves to help those in need. He has a bunny named Mopsy and a chicken named Friar. Get it, he's a priest and it's a chicken. *laughs* I am 100% dork, but I think I'm more fun that way. Anyway, he loves to go pick herbs and make potions. He also recently starting selling stuff at the auction house. :)
Wilbi is a sweet druid with a slight attitude and she adores dancing. She plans on learning how to fish because she thinks it would be great to sit around and reflect on life and anything in general while she waits for the big bite. She obviously wants to protect nature and keep things in balance. She would be great to have in a party because she's spunky, yet kind.
Loutus (Also another one I had to creatively spell) is Fahkir's sister and I made her a warlock. What a shocker. She is definately a big sister type and will beat anyone's ass who plans to hurt, or hurts her siblings. She is more of a city girl who likes the noise and the many goings on of city life. Although she hates her demon side she doesn't mind having demons do as she wills. She will make an excellent warlock. :)
Those are my characters I have actually played, but I have a couple more waiting in the wings. I don't want to overload myself on new characters. I want to get my first characters up in levels before I make new ones.
The expansion comes out next spring/summer and that should be exciting. Yay! *bounces* New stuff to do as well as new races! Wootness!
Ok, I'm going to bed now. I have to call the doctor tomorrow so she can fix me. Also another good thing that happened, and yes this is related to the doctor sentence, I got my insurance card! Finally! That's all I have to say about that. :) Ok, good night/morning!
I'm pretty sure I am a) allergic to something at work, or b) I have a sinus infection of doom. I have had a cold all fall and this winter. I'm miserable and I feel bad for everyone at work who has to here the delightful noises of snot being removed from my nose and on to a kleenex. My nose is kind of dripping right now, but I don't care, I'm sick of tissue. Ok. . . it's dripping more, maybe I should get a kleenex. *runs off* *releases snot from nasal cavity* I know you didn't want that image, but I am a mean person. *nods*
I know I have not typed on here in ages and I have to apologize for that. Sorry. And then when I do come back I sound miserable and cranky. I apologize for that too. *sighs* I'll tell you all more bad news and then I'll tell you happy news because I try to leave off on a positive note.
My grandpa is dying. I hate to put it so bluntly, but it is the only way I can put it. He is fighting 3 infections and has pnemonia, which the doctor told us that it is "the old man's friend." It was given this name because they just slip away in their sleep. I'm glad for that, but it is difficult seeing my grandpa so weak. I wish I could get some type of medical gadget that sucks out all the goo from his lungs. Most people would be sad an cry when something like this happens, but I find that I cannot. Although I feel horrible that he is dying I can't help, but feel relieved. The relief of knowing he won't hurt my dad anymore. Relief in knowing he isn't suffering anymore. Relief in the fact that I won't have to deal with her anymore. Life can maybe become normal again and Dad will be able to rest peacefully again. I will be happy when I don't have to hear about the horrible things she's done over and over again.
I'm sorry Grandpa, but I cannot feel for you as I did Grandma. You have proven yourself to be greedy and easily manipulated and for that I cannot cry for you. I have forgiven you, but I will never forget how you treated your son just so you could have all your "needs" taken care of. These are things I wish I could tell you, but you will never hear, or read them and that is best.
I hate pouring my heart out like that, but that is just how I feel. I feel detatched from him and it hurts because I used to look up to him when I was a kid. He was the main reason I thought photography was so neat. I could go on, but I won't because frankly it isn't necessary. Life throws shit at you sometimes and all you can do is clean it up and move on and that is what I plan on doing. Once this whole ordeal is done I'm putting on the rubber gloves and grabbing the mop because I cannot dwell on it. *nods*
Ok, on to happy things!!! I have a new shiny cable modem. I got it. . . *thinks* mid-January and it has been a wonderful thing. Kate and Mike bought me World of Warcraft for Christmas and this is basically the reason I got the high speed net. I know what you are about to say, "Kush, it's February and you got the modem about 2 weeks ago, so why didn't you POST!" Well, that is answered with a simple three worlds, World of Warcraft. Darn game consumes your life and you forever live in Azeroth. *nods*
My characters thus far: Tulouse (only way I could get it to work on WoW) is a paladin and is very similar to my D&D character. He is generous and calm, but get him on the topic of theatre and the man changes. He becomes dramatic and starts blurting out Shakespeare quotes. His favoritie play is Hamlet. Gee, I wonder why that is? *giggles*
Vinni is my priest and he is a gruff fellow, but definitely means well. He has a huge heart and loves to help those in need. He has a bunny named Mopsy and a chicken named Friar. Get it, he's a priest and it's a chicken. *laughs* I am 100% dork, but I think I'm more fun that way. Anyway, he loves to go pick herbs and make potions. He also recently starting selling stuff at the auction house. :)
Wilbi is a sweet druid with a slight attitude and she adores dancing. She plans on learning how to fish because she thinks it would be great to sit around and reflect on life and anything in general while she waits for the big bite. She obviously wants to protect nature and keep things in balance. She would be great to have in a party because she's spunky, yet kind.
Loutus (Also another one I had to creatively spell) is Fahkir's sister and I made her a warlock. What a shocker. She is definately a big sister type and will beat anyone's ass who plans to hurt, or hurts her siblings. She is more of a city girl who likes the noise and the many goings on of city life. Although she hates her demon side she doesn't mind having demons do as she wills. She will make an excellent warlock. :)
Those are my characters I have actually played, but I have a couple more waiting in the wings. I don't want to overload myself on new characters. I want to get my first characters up in levels before I make new ones.
The expansion comes out next spring/summer and that should be exciting. Yay! *bounces* New stuff to do as well as new races! Wootness!
Ok, I'm going to bed now. I have to call the doctor tomorrow so she can fix me. Also another good thing that happened, and yes this is related to the doctor sentence, I got my insurance card! Finally! That's all I have to say about that. :) Ok, good night/morning!
