Mmmmm pickles!!! Guess who actually pickled cucumbers? People you might think of would be your great aunt Bessie, your grandparents and someone other than me. Well, if you jokingly said, "Kush, *giggle giggle* Kush pickled cucs. LOL!!!!!!" You should sit down for this, but you would actually be right! I know what you are thinking, "WTF???" It's amazing the things you try when your spouse wants to try a new hobby, especially a spouse who loves creating delectable nom noms. ^_^ The delectable nom noms, known by common folk as pickles, shall be ready in another 2.5 weeks. *sigh* Too long if you ask me.
All in all it was a pretty interesting process and I look forward to pickling more cucs and other vegetables. Rend eventually wants to can meat. I'm nervous to try that endeavor because pressure cookers can be pretty dangerous. Exploding hot water would be a teeny weensy frightening. >_> However, my brother has had canned meat and he said it is sooooo good!
So my bestie is getting married in October. ^_^ I am super excited for her! Her future hubby is a really great guy AND he is a nerd. He plays video games and magic, so that is enough nerd cred for me. I don't like him just because he is a nerd, but it does make conversation a lot easier.
I am putting on the first shower for her this weekend. This shower will be family, my mom and me. I plan on cutting up veggies, getting some deli meat, cheese and buns so everyone can make their own sandwich. Simple and yummy. I'm also going to make the famous orange salad my fam loves and a delicious ramen noodle salad. A co-worker makes and it is always a hit. I'm excited to eat it. I probably shouldn't, but I can put the recipe in the tracker on Weight Watchers and figure out my points. See? I can still have delicious things while being on my diet, I just have to measure it out and track my points.
Ooo, such a good transition! I may have to use this optimistic transition to tell you that I have lost 35,4 lbs! Oh yeah! I was so proud of myself. I lost 3.4 lbs in one week. I wish I could do that every week, but it isn't healthy. . . Blah blah blah. I admit, I do want to lose the weight in a healthy manner. Not to mention the fact of loose skin when you lose it too quickly. Sadly I will still have that issue when I lose more, but I hope that it won't be as bad as it could have been.
It's the end of the night for me, so I am going to finish my packing and go to bed. *yawn* I've been so tired lately. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because it is Friday. I'm not looking forward to the long trip up north, but such is life.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
Why Hello Blog. It's Been A While.
It's been so long since I have actually written anything in this spot. Not that it matters really. I never had many followers to begin with, but now I have zero. Unless you count my husband Rend. Then it would be one! Good enough for me though. I write for me and no one else. ^_^
So many things have happened over these many years. Good and bad have happened. My last entry was in April 2010 and you would have thought I would have been excited to write all about wedding prep and getting married. The honeymoon. Moving and so many other wonderful things. However, my dad died in June of 2010 and I kind of lost the blogging bug. It was difficult to deal with him dying one year before I was to be married. I felt like I had lost so many important things a bride gets to experience on her wedding day. LOL. I'm crying even now and it has been four years since his death. However, this meant my dad couldn't walk me down the isle, no father and daughter dance and all the family pictures I would loved to have had him in.
There are so many things I could say about my dad, how he loved to talk and what a work-a-holic he was. However, I don't think I have the wherewithal to even try. I don't even have the words to write about him. It's a shame really because he honestly deserves beautiful words to be written about him. I can honestly say that I do miss him very much.
This is life and no matter what is thrown at you, you take it and move on. It may be painful, but over time you heal and move on to something new. Lets not forget that some pain takes a hell of a lot longer to heal than others. Sadly death happens to be one of those pains. I don't think I will ever truly heal from my dad's death, but I believe it will lessen.
GOOD NEWS! I have been married for 3 years! Rend is a wonderful husband! I love him so much and I know we will be married for many more years! He is so supportive in everything I do and he shows his love in so many ways. I don't know how he does it, but when I am feeling down he literally can make me laugh by singing, or dancing. He is not afraid to act silly (like a fool, if you will) to cheer me up. If I am depressed he says, "Is some one's giggler broken?" I quickly turn my head to hide my smile, but he knows exactly what he did, he lightened my mood. I will always be thankful for finding such a wonderful man, who actually found me first. :P Thank you interwebs for helping me find a hubby! Seriously, I thought I was going to be an eternal bachelorette!
So for many years I have been struggling with my weight and once I got my new job I gained more weight! O_O I joined weight watchers at the end of January and I have lost 32 POUNDS!!! Someday I shall give my weight I started at, but I am not that confident yet. I know no one reads this, but the Internet is a big place and you never know who will stumble across your blog.
Sorry for the messy entry. I feel like it was not written well AT ALL! I know I'm not the best writer, but this one in particular is not good. It's fine though. I hope the blogging bug bites again and hopefully I will write some more for therapeutic reasons. I always did have fun doing this blog. It seems like I always have story ideas that I never get down, so hopefully this will motivate me to do more than journal entries.
So many things have happened over these many years. Good and bad have happened. My last entry was in April 2010 and you would have thought I would have been excited to write all about wedding prep and getting married. The honeymoon. Moving and so many other wonderful things. However, my dad died in June of 2010 and I kind of lost the blogging bug. It was difficult to deal with him dying one year before I was to be married. I felt like I had lost so many important things a bride gets to experience on her wedding day. LOL. I'm crying even now and it has been four years since his death. However, this meant my dad couldn't walk me down the isle, no father and daughter dance and all the family pictures I would loved to have had him in.
There are so many things I could say about my dad, how he loved to talk and what a work-a-holic he was. However, I don't think I have the wherewithal to even try. I don't even have the words to write about him. It's a shame really because he honestly deserves beautiful words to be written about him. I can honestly say that I do miss him very much.
This is life and no matter what is thrown at you, you take it and move on. It may be painful, but over time you heal and move on to something new. Lets not forget that some pain takes a hell of a lot longer to heal than others. Sadly death happens to be one of those pains. I don't think I will ever truly heal from my dad's death, but I believe it will lessen.
GOOD NEWS! I have been married for 3 years! Rend is a wonderful husband! I love him so much and I know we will be married for many more years! He is so supportive in everything I do and he shows his love in so many ways. I don't know how he does it, but when I am feeling down he literally can make me laugh by singing, or dancing. He is not afraid to act silly (like a fool, if you will) to cheer me up. If I am depressed he says, "Is some one's giggler broken?" I quickly turn my head to hide my smile, but he knows exactly what he did, he lightened my mood. I will always be thankful for finding such a wonderful man, who actually found me first. :P Thank you interwebs for helping me find a hubby! Seriously, I thought I was going to be an eternal bachelorette!
So for many years I have been struggling with my weight and once I got my new job I gained more weight! O_O I joined weight watchers at the end of January and I have lost 32 POUNDS!!! Someday I shall give my weight I started at, but I am not that confident yet. I know no one reads this, but the Internet is a big place and you never know who will stumble across your blog.
Sorry for the messy entry. I feel like it was not written well AT ALL! I know I'm not the best writer, but this one in particular is not good. It's fine though. I hope the blogging bug bites again and hopefully I will write some more for therapeutic reasons. I always did have fun doing this blog. It seems like I always have story ideas that I never get down, so hopefully this will motivate me to do more than journal entries.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ooo, I'm a d12! Girly Dice!
So it turns out I'm a pretty girly gamer. Funny, but it makes sense. It's unfortunate that d12's are pretty useless in the d20 system. LOL
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Running Smoothly
So far, things have been running pretty smoothly for wedding planning. I know, I know, it is only the beginning. However, I'm already in the process of knowing exactly who I want for certain things. I already have my cake decorator, florist, venue and the places to get dresses and tuxes. :D Here is the best part, I already have my dress hanging in my closet and this weekend I'm going to get my headpieces and other accessories. Yaaaaaay! I wish I could tell you all in detail what the dress looks like, however, my wonderful husband to be reads this blog and I would not want to spoil any surprises for him. ^_^
Next on my list is to choose a photographer (which I think we have decided who we want), a videographer (also have a pretty good idea of who I want) and a DJ (I'm down to two). I've been moving on those a little slower just because I want Rend around when I do talk to them. The photographer is most important right now since we want engagement pictures done. I figured this summer would be a good time if we wanted them taken outside. If we are going to do an indoor shoot then next winter would work out fine.
I can honestly say that I'm getting a little nervous. And it's not because of cold feet. It's due to the fact that I'm worried there is going to be a shit ton of stuff to do next winter and I only hope I can keep it all together. I do know that I have chosen wonderful girls to be my helpers! All 4 are creative and intelligent women who will be able to calm me if it ever arises. :P Not to mention my sweet man. ^_^ He'll keep me grounded and remind me not to worry.
Also, we have officially decided to go to Japan for our honeymoon. Honestly, I have no clue how we are going to pay for it, but I know I could get a loan if we needed to, which I'm very willing to do. I've always dreamed of going there and I know it would mean so much to both of us to go. ^_^ It's funny, but I'm looking most forward to seeing Rend's old school that he attended and seeing his old stomping grounds. *jumps up and down* Japan here we come!!!
I never thought I'd actually be able to write about such wonderful things on my blog, but here I am. :P I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful guy in my life. *huggles Rend* Thank you for proposing to me honey!!! Yaaaaay!
Now I'm off to watch Lost! I'm now on season 6 and almost caught up with everyone else in the world. I'm super excited! That show is effing crazy! O_O What's going to happen next???? *bounces on over to abc.com* *obsessed giggle*
Next on my list is to choose a photographer (which I think we have decided who we want), a videographer (also have a pretty good idea of who I want) and a DJ (I'm down to two). I've been moving on those a little slower just because I want Rend around when I do talk to them. The photographer is most important right now since we want engagement pictures done. I figured this summer would be a good time if we wanted them taken outside. If we are going to do an indoor shoot then next winter would work out fine.
I can honestly say that I'm getting a little nervous. And it's not because of cold feet. It's due to the fact that I'm worried there is going to be a shit ton of stuff to do next winter and I only hope I can keep it all together. I do know that I have chosen wonderful girls to be my helpers! All 4 are creative and intelligent women who will be able to calm me if it ever arises. :P Not to mention my sweet man. ^_^ He'll keep me grounded and remind me not to worry.
Also, we have officially decided to go to Japan for our honeymoon. Honestly, I have no clue how we are going to pay for it, but I know I could get a loan if we needed to, which I'm very willing to do. I've always dreamed of going there and I know it would mean so much to both of us to go. ^_^ It's funny, but I'm looking most forward to seeing Rend's old school that he attended and seeing his old stomping grounds. *jumps up and down* Japan here we come!!!
I never thought I'd actually be able to write about such wonderful things on my blog, but here I am. :P I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful guy in my life. *huggles Rend* Thank you for proposing to me honey!!! Yaaaaay!
Now I'm off to watch Lost! I'm now on season 6 and almost caught up with everyone else in the world. I'm super excited! That show is effing crazy! O_O What's going to happen next???? *bounces on over to abc.com* *obsessed giggle*
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
We Have A Date People. . .
June 11, 2011!
Woot! I'm so excited! Actually having a date is a big relief. Not only do we have a specific date, but we also have the venue booked! Ooooo, I'm on a roll!!!
You may be wondering why Ren and I picked this date. It does actually have some meaning to it. June 9 is the day him and I officially started dating and we figure, 2 days after the fact is pretty awesome. PLUS, the 11th day in the 11th year! O_O It's dumb, but it's kind of cool! :P Nov. 11, 2011 would have been neat. . . but honestly I don't think I could have waited that long. LOL Also, for all the people who live a distance from here it made sense to have it in the summer since the weather would be decent. :D Happy driving conditions make for happier travel!
So yes, now that I have the venue and the church all booked my next mission is *dum dum duuuuummmm* PHOTOGRAPHERS!!!! Ooo, and videographers. :D I want our wedding recorded so I can look back and laugh at how cute we were. ^_^ Honestly, I think Ren and I will always be pretty cute, but I'm sure it will lessen some.
Tonight I'm going to look up passport info and bank info. :) Ren and I are going to have a joint wedding account, so we can just take money out of there for all the vendors. It makes sense because then we don't have to say, "Ok, should I, or should you get this one?" Too much of a headache if you ask me.
I also need to get a binder, or something. Kush is going to try and keep this event organized. I'm usually pretty chaotic, but I can be super organized when I want to be. The anime club I was pretty successful at being organized and my computer files are wonderfully organized, so I hope since I can focus pretty readily on things I am pumped about I should be fine.
This entry ended up being longer than I thought! LOL Oh well, those who read this are people who care, so it's all good!
Woot! I'm so excited! Actually having a date is a big relief. Not only do we have a specific date, but we also have the venue booked! Ooooo, I'm on a roll!!!
You may be wondering why Ren and I picked this date. It does actually have some meaning to it. June 9 is the day him and I officially started dating and we figure, 2 days after the fact is pretty awesome. PLUS, the 11th day in the 11th year! O_O It's dumb, but it's kind of cool! :P Nov. 11, 2011 would have been neat. . . but honestly I don't think I could have waited that long. LOL Also, for all the people who live a distance from here it made sense to have it in the summer since the weather would be decent. :D Happy driving conditions make for happier travel!
So yes, now that I have the venue and the church all booked my next mission is *dum dum duuuuummmm* PHOTOGRAPHERS!!!! Ooo, and videographers. :D I want our wedding recorded so I can look back and laugh at how cute we were. ^_^ Honestly, I think Ren and I will always be pretty cute, but I'm sure it will lessen some.
Tonight I'm going to look up passport info and bank info. :) Ren and I are going to have a joint wedding account, so we can just take money out of there for all the vendors. It makes sense because then we don't have to say, "Ok, should I, or should you get this one?" Too much of a headache if you ask me.
I also need to get a binder, or something. Kush is going to try and keep this event organized. I'm usually pretty chaotic, but I can be super organized when I want to be. The anime club I was pretty successful at being organized and my computer files are wonderfully organized, so I hope since I can focus pretty readily on things I am pumped about I should be fine.
This entry ended up being longer than I thought! LOL Oh well, those who read this are people who care, so it's all good!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
ENGAGED!!!!!
I have to admit that I am an extremely happy woman right now! *shows off bling* Look at it sparkle!!!!! *huggles hand that ring is on*
I have officially been engaged for almost 24 hours. O_O I know, it's quite hard to believe! For me I was still getting used to the fact that I had found a boyfriend, who is the best in the world mind you, let alone someone to propose to me! Rendiani is now my fiance and I am his fiancee! O_O I'm so excited!!! I'm still on cloud 9 here, so my writing may be more scattered than usual. :P
Let me start from the beginning. Ahhh, the beginning! It was Oct. 10, 1980. . . Nah, I'm kidding, I'll tell you the beginning of my engagement story. And I can bet you all $5 that all the women in the room are going to, "Awwww" this when you get done because the way he proposed was perfect and so romantic it just makes you melt. *giggles* And I'm such a lucky girl because I get to hear romantic comments all the time. :) ANYWAY! As you all know Thursday was Christmas Eve. Rendi and I had my parents over to my apartment and we made porketta, potatoes, carrots and garlic breadsticks. It was a simple, but delicious dinner. Apparently, I have no idea how he ninjaed this, but Rendi asked my parents for my hand in marriage while I left the apartment. I don't know when exactly. I know I was helping move things since they brought an extra chair to sit on. O_o That might be the time and I suspect it is. ^_^ My parental folk obviously said yes because they would be fools if they said otherwise.
Friday it was Christmas and Rendi was waiting for Saturday. An odd day to propose you ask? Absolutely not. You see, Saturday, Dec. 26 is an anniversary for us. This is the day that he decided to expand his search on Geek2Geek to about 200 miles. *laughs* Poor guy had no idea he would actually find someone THAT far. :P Well, he did when he winked at my unfinished profile with no picture. Kind of a risky move really, but I'm glad he did. You can imagine my surpise when I got a wink on a profile that I had been meaning to fix for about 6 months. I don't know why, but I had this urge to e-mail this man who made chainmail bras. :P He sounded like someone I could get along with and laugh with. ^_^ So I paid the $17.95 for the month and sent an e-mail. Right now I can tell you that money is best money I have spent in my entire life. And I have to admit that it was a steal!!! All this began something that is so wonderful and precious to both of us and he decided it was a good anniversary to celebrate. :) Last year I received a necklace due to this anniversary and Rendi wanted to keep with that tradition by giving me the ring.
Now on to the sweet details. Every week we plan on a night where we have a date over the net. We pretty much end up playing WoW, but it means so much more than just questing on a silly MMO. This is time where we have time to talk and do something alone with each other. We also take turns choosing which day to have our date night. Well, it was my turn this time and I chose Saturday, our anniversary. :) And this time we would actually be able to have a date in person! This was our second time having a date night in person and we were pretty pumped about it. I'm sure Rendi was a bit more pumped than me since he knew what he had planned. Originally, we were going to be down in the cities that night and we had plans of doing a double date with another couple. Unfortunately, snow prevented us from going anywhere and we stayed in my little place 200 miles away from our original plans. Rendi had recruited the other couple to help him with his sweet plan, but now he was on his own. So our plans for our date night consisted of: looking at old instant messages to each other when we first started talking and then looking at a box we had created to hold physical memories (tickets, photos, 4th of July flag, etc.). Before we started date night we had gone to my brother's to celebrate Christmas a day late and I forgot to put the jewelry on that Rendi had given me before. I don't know why, but I was sitting at the computer when I opened up the archived messages and said how I hadn't worn my jewelry. Rendi sweetly said that I could wear it then. *laughs* Without thinking I put it on happy as a lark. We laughed and talked about our old messages, which pretty much consisted of D&D and video/compy game talk. LOL It was a good time, however, I noticed Rendi feeling uncomfy on my bed as we read the old messages. *giggles* I know now that he was, because there was a ring box digging into his skin and it was a bit uncomfy. :P Then he asked if we wanted to look at the memory box next. ^_^ I happily scampered off to grab it. We looked through the contents, reminiced and finished. Rendi set the box down and said, "I've got another memory for you." I don't know how he does it, but Rendi is the only person who can make time stop, seriously. ^_^ Because this is the fourth time he's done so. *nods* He stepped back a little and I remember looking at the box of memories feeling that time had stopped, just for that small instant. I think I knew what was coming, but I was so stunned. I looked back at Rendi and he got down on one knee holding a little purple box. He then flipped the top of the box and asked me to marry him. I was still in my stunned state, but that of course didn't stop my tears. They came down instantly when everything clicked into place. I'm left handed and that is the hand I used to cover my mouth. I think it was to really holding my jaw in place because of my surprise. All I could do was nod vigorously at him. *nod nod NOD!!!!* Because I was holding my left hand up to my face Rendi got a little confused. LOL I finally patted my bed for him to sit next to me. We hugged and my left hand was finally free for him to slip the beautiful ring on my finger.
And here I am, engaged to the most wonderful man in the infiniverse! ^_^ *happily shows off ring* Now I get to plan a fun little event called a wedding. This will be an adventure and I can't wait to blog about it. :) I know it will be fun, frustrating, scary, nerve racking, but most of all beautiful and amazing. Rendi and I get to start a new journey and I'm proud to say I get to start it with him by my side!
I have officially been engaged for almost 24 hours. O_O I know, it's quite hard to believe! For me I was still getting used to the fact that I had found a boyfriend, who is the best in the world mind you, let alone someone to propose to me! Rendiani is now my fiance and I am his fiancee! O_O I'm so excited!!! I'm still on cloud 9 here, so my writing may be more scattered than usual. :P
Let me start from the beginning. Ahhh, the beginning! It was Oct. 10, 1980. . . Nah, I'm kidding, I'll tell you the beginning of my engagement story. And I can bet you all $5 that all the women in the room are going to, "Awwww" this when you get done because the way he proposed was perfect and so romantic it just makes you melt. *giggles* And I'm such a lucky girl because I get to hear romantic comments all the time. :) ANYWAY! As you all know Thursday was Christmas Eve. Rendi and I had my parents over to my apartment and we made porketta, potatoes, carrots and garlic breadsticks. It was a simple, but delicious dinner. Apparently, I have no idea how he ninjaed this, but Rendi asked my parents for my hand in marriage while I left the apartment. I don't know when exactly. I know I was helping move things since they brought an extra chair to sit on. O_o That might be the time and I suspect it is. ^_^ My parental folk obviously said yes because they would be fools if they said otherwise.
Friday it was Christmas and Rendi was waiting for Saturday. An odd day to propose you ask? Absolutely not. You see, Saturday, Dec. 26 is an anniversary for us. This is the day that he decided to expand his search on Geek2Geek to about 200 miles. *laughs* Poor guy had no idea he would actually find someone THAT far. :P Well, he did when he winked at my unfinished profile with no picture. Kind of a risky move really, but I'm glad he did. You can imagine my surpise when I got a wink on a profile that I had been meaning to fix for about 6 months. I don't know why, but I had this urge to e-mail this man who made chainmail bras. :P He sounded like someone I could get along with and laugh with. ^_^ So I paid the $17.95 for the month and sent an e-mail. Right now I can tell you that money is best money I have spent in my entire life. And I have to admit that it was a steal!!! All this began something that is so wonderful and precious to both of us and he decided it was a good anniversary to celebrate. :) Last year I received a necklace due to this anniversary and Rendi wanted to keep with that tradition by giving me the ring.
Now on to the sweet details. Every week we plan on a night where we have a date over the net. We pretty much end up playing WoW, but it means so much more than just questing on a silly MMO. This is time where we have time to talk and do something alone with each other. We also take turns choosing which day to have our date night. Well, it was my turn this time and I chose Saturday, our anniversary. :) And this time we would actually be able to have a date in person! This was our second time having a date night in person and we were pretty pumped about it. I'm sure Rendi was a bit more pumped than me since he knew what he had planned. Originally, we were going to be down in the cities that night and we had plans of doing a double date with another couple. Unfortunately, snow prevented us from going anywhere and we stayed in my little place 200 miles away from our original plans. Rendi had recruited the other couple to help him with his sweet plan, but now he was on his own. So our plans for our date night consisted of: looking at old instant messages to each other when we first started talking and then looking at a box we had created to hold physical memories (tickets, photos, 4th of July flag, etc.). Before we started date night we had gone to my brother's to celebrate Christmas a day late and I forgot to put the jewelry on that Rendi had given me before. I don't know why, but I was sitting at the computer when I opened up the archived messages and said how I hadn't worn my jewelry. Rendi sweetly said that I could wear it then. *laughs* Without thinking I put it on happy as a lark. We laughed and talked about our old messages, which pretty much consisted of D&D and video/compy game talk. LOL It was a good time, however, I noticed Rendi feeling uncomfy on my bed as we read the old messages. *giggles* I know now that he was, because there was a ring box digging into his skin and it was a bit uncomfy. :P Then he asked if we wanted to look at the memory box next. ^_^ I happily scampered off to grab it. We looked through the contents, reminiced and finished. Rendi set the box down and said, "I've got another memory for you." I don't know how he does it, but Rendi is the only person who can make time stop, seriously. ^_^ Because this is the fourth time he's done so. *nods* He stepped back a little and I remember looking at the box of memories feeling that time had stopped, just for that small instant. I think I knew what was coming, but I was so stunned. I looked back at Rendi and he got down on one knee holding a little purple box. He then flipped the top of the box and asked me to marry him. I was still in my stunned state, but that of course didn't stop my tears. They came down instantly when everything clicked into place. I'm left handed and that is the hand I used to cover my mouth. I think it was to really holding my jaw in place because of my surprise. All I could do was nod vigorously at him. *nod nod NOD!!!!* Because I was holding my left hand up to my face Rendi got a little confused. LOL I finally patted my bed for him to sit next to me. We hugged and my left hand was finally free for him to slip the beautiful ring on my finger.
And here I am, engaged to the most wonderful man in the infiniverse! ^_^ *happily shows off ring* Now I get to plan a fun little event called a wedding. This will be an adventure and I can't wait to blog about it. :) I know it will be fun, frustrating, scary, nerve racking, but most of all beautiful and amazing. Rendi and I get to start a new journey and I'm proud to say I get to start it with him by my side!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
A Feeling of Betrayal
Here we go folks, another emotional entry. . .
Right now so many mixed emotions are going through my brain I can't keep them all straight. I feel betrayed, I'm wondering if I'm the problem, or is it the other people/person? I feel lonely, but I want to be alone. I want to talk about why I feel betrayed, but it hurts and feels relieving at the same time, so I don't even know how to put it in words. I apologize if I'm all over the place. >_>
I'll get to the point and then if you feel like it's worth reading then continue on. Kami is no longer a friend. I feel she has betrayed me and I don't know if I'm being emotional out of anger, or if I've just come to my senses. If you decide to read on this is basically the story as to why I feel this way.
It seems like I've seen this coming for a while now. Kami just kept pushing and pushing buttons. When those buttons are pushed it pushed me away from her. Eventually I think a rift got between us. She is/was upset with me because she "missed" me. Now, you have to understand, last spring when the weather was getting descent I would go for walks with her and the dogs and we'd play d&d until she decided to tell me a few things. These few things pissed me off, but after a while I forgave her. I won't go into detail about what those few choice words were due to privacy. Kami, I'm sure knew that I was upset and angry with her and rightfully so in my opinion. Ever since then we stopped going for walks and I'm sure she missed me even more. Another thing that started to tic me off was the fact that she would not give my D&D game much of a chance, but she was getting tired of DM-ing.
To make a looooooooong story short in the last game that Kami DM-ed she killed/enslaved everyone in the party because she was tired of "people being late, or never showing up" to D&D. Well thank you Kami for making our characters miserable, thus making the rest of us miserable by making the characters miserable. Now you would think, "Hmm, that doesn't sound like enough to keep Kush away." And you would be right. Like a loyal dog I get kicked, but I keep going back for more, hoping that one day things will change. However, they never do and I have learned a valueable lesson, but lets face it I'm still loyal to a fucking fault and unfortunately always will be.
Let me continue. Earlier this week I asked Kami and Nick how the D&D game went. They both said the same thing, "Slow." Ok. . . well, I was positive and told Nick and Kami, "I'm sure things will pick up." :) I try to find the silver lining you see. Nick told me then that he wasn't sure if he could handle another player. . . I blew it off, not really sure what to make of it. And now I come to the point of the story where I believe I was set up. So I knew that I might not be invited, but I thought maybe Kami did not know this. I've been gaming with her for about 8ish years and I would think over that time we would have created some sort of friendship where we would stand up for one another and include each other in something we've been doing for the last 8 years! ANYWAY, I called Kami to find out what was going on for D&D and the point is she didn't know and wanted me to talk to Nick since he was DM-ing the new game. Yes, I did find this awkward and did not think it was my place to talk to Nick about whether we were having D&D, or not. I was playing WoW talking to Rend about it and I hadn't messaged Nick yet even though I knew he was on WoW as well. He messaged me. Now, you have to understand, Nick never messaged me, EVER! So I was surprised when I got a whisper from him saying, "Yo." We did the small talk, "How are you?" and all that bull shit and I finally asked what was going on for D&D? He said that was a good question. From there he said, "I don't know how to put this nicely, but you are not invited." And that was my set up. Khori wanted me to talk to Nick, I didn't talk to him so he messaged me, I then asked about D&D and was told I wasn't invited. Kami knew all along that I was not invited and didn't have the guts to tell me herself. She isn't afraid to hurt people and I honestly wish she would have done it herself instead of getting some little ass hole to do it for her. So thank you Kami, thank you for standing up for me and I hope you have lots of fun with your new friends because your old one is gone.
I should finish the story, but I had to rant a little. Well, I called Khori and they weren't home. Ok, that's fine. I left a message and waited. Finally I called back at 10:15ish and Kami picked up and this was the basic message, "I told Nick I was sick of DM-ing and told him to plan everything and invite people he wants. I can't make everybody happy. He invited me so I was like, 'Ok.' I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." -_- Once again, thanks Kami. I'm glad our friendship means so much to you. I should say former friendship.
In the workds of T.K., "Have a nice life."
Right now so many mixed emotions are going through my brain I can't keep them all straight. I feel betrayed, I'm wondering if I'm the problem, or is it the other people/person? I feel lonely, but I want to be alone. I want to talk about why I feel betrayed, but it hurts and feels relieving at the same time, so I don't even know how to put it in words. I apologize if I'm all over the place. >_>
I'll get to the point and then if you feel like it's worth reading then continue on. Kami is no longer a friend. I feel she has betrayed me and I don't know if I'm being emotional out of anger, or if I've just come to my senses. If you decide to read on this is basically the story as to why I feel this way.
It seems like I've seen this coming for a while now. Kami just kept pushing and pushing buttons. When those buttons are pushed it pushed me away from her. Eventually I think a rift got between us. She is/was upset with me because she "missed" me. Now, you have to understand, last spring when the weather was getting descent I would go for walks with her and the dogs and we'd play d&d until she decided to tell me a few things. These few things pissed me off, but after a while I forgave her. I won't go into detail about what those few choice words were due to privacy. Kami, I'm sure knew that I was upset and angry with her and rightfully so in my opinion. Ever since then we stopped going for walks and I'm sure she missed me even more. Another thing that started to tic me off was the fact that she would not give my D&D game much of a chance, but she was getting tired of DM-ing.
To make a looooooooong story short in the last game that Kami DM-ed she killed/enslaved everyone in the party because she was tired of "people being late, or never showing up" to D&D. Well thank you Kami for making our characters miserable, thus making the rest of us miserable by making the characters miserable. Now you would think, "Hmm, that doesn't sound like enough to keep Kush away." And you would be right. Like a loyal dog I get kicked, but I keep going back for more, hoping that one day things will change. However, they never do and I have learned a valueable lesson, but lets face it I'm still loyal to a fucking fault and unfortunately always will be.
Let me continue. Earlier this week I asked Kami and Nick how the D&D game went. They both said the same thing, "Slow." Ok. . . well, I was positive and told Nick and Kami, "I'm sure things will pick up." :) I try to find the silver lining you see. Nick told me then that he wasn't sure if he could handle another player. . . I blew it off, not really sure what to make of it. And now I come to the point of the story where I believe I was set up. So I knew that I might not be invited, but I thought maybe Kami did not know this. I've been gaming with her for about 8ish years and I would think over that time we would have created some sort of friendship where we would stand up for one another and include each other in something we've been doing for the last 8 years! ANYWAY, I called Kami to find out what was going on for D&D and the point is she didn't know and wanted me to talk to Nick since he was DM-ing the new game. Yes, I did find this awkward and did not think it was my place to talk to Nick about whether we were having D&D, or not. I was playing WoW talking to Rend about it and I hadn't messaged Nick yet even though I knew he was on WoW as well. He messaged me. Now, you have to understand, Nick never messaged me, EVER! So I was surprised when I got a whisper from him saying, "Yo." We did the small talk, "How are you?" and all that bull shit and I finally asked what was going on for D&D? He said that was a good question. From there he said, "I don't know how to put this nicely, but you are not invited." And that was my set up. Khori wanted me to talk to Nick, I didn't talk to him so he messaged me, I then asked about D&D and was told I wasn't invited. Kami knew all along that I was not invited and didn't have the guts to tell me herself. She isn't afraid to hurt people and I honestly wish she would have done it herself instead of getting some little ass hole to do it for her. So thank you Kami, thank you for standing up for me and I hope you have lots of fun with your new friends because your old one is gone.
I should finish the story, but I had to rant a little. Well, I called Khori and they weren't home. Ok, that's fine. I left a message and waited. Finally I called back at 10:15ish and Kami picked up and this was the basic message, "I told Nick I was sick of DM-ing and told him to plan everything and invite people he wants. I can't make everybody happy. He invited me so I was like, 'Ok.' I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." -_- Once again, thanks Kami. I'm glad our friendship means so much to you. I should say former friendship.
In the workds of T.K., "Have a nice life."
